Oh yeah, watch this too:
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Part Two?
Neither of us have updated in awhile, but I can assure you that we've been up to wonderous things. They include but are not limited to this:
Oh yeah, watch this too:
Oh yeah, watch this too:
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Part One!
I'M TWENTY-ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really excited about the song Caitlin is writing in honor of this.
Prepare to go to Chuck E. Cheese when winter break begins. Or maybe the Great Skate, just to mix things up. I don't know yet. Maybe Glamour Shots to get those awesome eighties-style portraits we've always wanted.
I went gambling yesterday. I had twenty-one one dollar bills provided for me. At first, I was doing really good and I made ten dollars off my first try. But then I lost the other twenty. And then I lost the ten I got first. So that was awesome.
As for relationships, forget everything I posted last time. His name isn't even Justin, haha. I'm ridiculous. Also, I did the notebook idea, and not only did he not find it, but the notebook was found by a group of stoner girls and stolen. They then called me to inform me they had stolen it, and also fingered as partial culprit one of the night employees Mallory who once told me "I don't give a shit what you get to drink!" Later, I got my notebook back, but they had wrote comments in on all the pages, including my favorite: DRUGS with a heart drawn around it. However, Actually Dustin, as we're calling him, did come over and listen to my headphones the other day and didn't judge me for unfortunately listening to Buffy the Musical that day. So that says something, I guess.
So everyone should check out this link:
www.myspace.com/solongcharlie
They're an awesome band up in Chicago. I'm going to go see their show on New Year's Eve if anyone else is interested. I also have other investments in them, but more on that later. I will say it's more adorable then I could've ever expected, but I don't want to jinx myself. But I'm buying a giant poster. In no way will that get slightly creepy... right, Jessica? Okay, I'm having a date with the lead singer. It's waaaaay too sweet (and hot) not to mention. A fucking lead singer of a band!!! Who is amazing regardless!!!! I'm a groupie!!!!!!!
Speaking of bands, I downloaded the new BONERSSS jam, "Hello Boner," and put it on a CD, then forgot I had put it on a CD and played it during a car ride with my mother. Her reaction was one I can't describe, but one I will always treasure.
I have more to say and some sweet pictures, but I have to go for now, so you'll have to survive off of this. I know it's tough.
I'm really excited about the song Caitlin is writing in honor of this.
Prepare to go to Chuck E. Cheese when winter break begins. Or maybe the Great Skate, just to mix things up. I don't know yet. Maybe Glamour Shots to get those awesome eighties-style portraits we've always wanted.
I went gambling yesterday. I had twenty-one one dollar bills provided for me. At first, I was doing really good and I made ten dollars off my first try. But then I lost the other twenty. And then I lost the ten I got first. So that was awesome.
As for relationships, forget everything I posted last time. His name isn't even Justin, haha. I'm ridiculous. Also, I did the notebook idea, and not only did he not find it, but the notebook was found by a group of stoner girls and stolen. They then called me to inform me they had stolen it, and also fingered as partial culprit one of the night employees Mallory who once told me "I don't give a shit what you get to drink!" Later, I got my notebook back, but they had wrote comments in on all the pages, including my favorite: DRUGS with a heart drawn around it. However, Actually Dustin, as we're calling him, did come over and listen to my headphones the other day and didn't judge me for unfortunately listening to Buffy the Musical that day. So that says something, I guess.
So everyone should check out this link:
www.myspace.com/solongcharlie
They're an awesome band up in Chicago. I'm going to go see their show on New Year's Eve if anyone else is interested. I also have other investments in them, but more on that later. I will say it's more adorable then I could've ever expected, but I don't want to jinx myself. But I'm buying a giant poster. In no way will that get slightly creepy... right, Jessica? Okay, I'm having a date with the lead singer. It's waaaaay too sweet (and hot) not to mention. A fucking lead singer of a band!!! Who is amazing regardless!!!! I'm a groupie!!!!!!!
Speaking of bands, I downloaded the new BONERSSS jam, "Hello Boner," and put it on a CD, then forgot I had put it on a CD and played it during a car ride with my mother. Her reaction was one I can't describe, but one I will always treasure.
I have more to say and some sweet pictures, but I have to go for now, so you'll have to survive off of this. I know it's tough.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sending out my love
Sunday, November 11, 2007
QUOTE OF THE DAY
MY MOM: (in the midst of a story) So it was around Christmas and your dad had taken a job on a barge...
WTF?!?!?!?!? How do things like that even happen??
My weekend was marginally uneventful. I watched "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" with my grandma, made my birthday/Christmas list, and then Jessica called from Chicago to urgently suggest I watch this, which I have to say I am estatic I did.
So I think I mentioned in my former blog that the number one thing I love about my jobs is that I have a set schedule. This is partially because it's an rewarding present for my OCD tendencies, and also because I get to be a regular at several restaurants. Now Taco Bell, I'm not tooooo excited about, I mean it is Taco Bell, but all I get there is a free soda. But Hardee's? Oh, man. Hardee's has made me a happy man. I get a free soda, 10% off, and two awesome afternoon employees know my order by heart (shout out to Terri and Justin). I don't even have to talk anymore! As retribution, I know the cost by heart and always come prepared with $1.06.
The problem arises that I now have a crush there, which is NOT good news, in case you were wondering, because the only thing having a crush does for me is tax my nerves and put my thinking on overdrive. Also, my dating record as of late is as mentioned Attention-Whorey, and after screaming at and belittling my last restaurant crush on the phone outside of Buffalo Wild Wings for a good two hours, I'm not much in a hurry to get back to that kind of suckiness.
But at the same time as much as I hate it, the crush intrigues me. And I feel like I have a pretty good shot and it's not just all in my head. The facts are these:
- My crush is the cook at Hardee's, not the cashier person (whatever they call it - POS, front lines, you get the drift). "Well, if he's in the back, how did you ever meet," I bet you're wondering. Good question! When I come in, I usually talk briefly with Terri, the girl who IS the cashier person. She knows my order by heart (and today gave me a second sandwich free!), and then yells it back to Justin, the cook, who soon also learns it by heart. But somedays Terri doesn't work and someone else who is not Justin is cashier person. BUT, whenever I come in, Justin makes it a point to come out and both ring me out at the register AND return and make my food, completely disregarding the other employee.
- So this happens a couple times recently, and then one time I show up and I've forgotten to take off my Target nametag and Terri starts a conversation with me about my second job, which I had forgot to tell her I got (she notes she was getting a little worried about my wearing red everyday but didn't want to say anything). The next day, Terri is not at work and I am not wearing my nametag, and Justin comes out and begins a conversation with me about my jobs, despite the fact he was obviously listening the day before because he is not very good at faking not looking at me.
- He looks at me a lot. And it's annoying, because I was trying to take a secret picture of him with my phone to send to Jessica, and yes I realize that is creepy, that's not the point, but it was impossible. I also had no service, and walked around Hardee's holding my phone up like a retard.
Anyway, it's getting bad because I lose all wit and ability to talk when I don't plan out my crushing before hand. Here is an overview of the week and my failures.
On Tuesday, he got my order wrong. Which after doing it for four months, ringing me out that day, and knowing it by heart was extremely suspicious. His manager was present and I didn't want to get him in trouble seeing as I wasn't positive this was a ploy or not, so I wiped off the mayo and lettuce and went about my day.
On Wednesday, he repeatedly came out into the dining area near where I sit to do menial tasks that didn't need to be done, like organize the straws, or wipe off the dry soda machine. But I was unable to think of anything to say to him, and apparently he couldn't think of anything either, but we cool guy head nodded at each other a couple of times.
On Thursday it got worse, because he actually had something to say. He took over for the guy at the register and rang up my order without asking. I then handed him the $1.06 with similar confidence and then this conversation occurred:
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: (which is his nickname as decided by Jessica) $1.06? Pretty confident I'm going to give you your discount. It's actually going to be thirty dollars today.
ME: (nervous laughing, holds money out again)
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: This is going on your tab. Now at Hardee's, we make your order fresh, so it's going to take about forty or so minutes to cook. That's okay, right?
ME: Yeah, sure. No big deal. I don't need to get to my job.
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: Target?
ME: Good Shepherd.
(I escape quickly as he nods. Soon, I get my food, but instead of returning to the kitchen, he sticks around at the front)
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: So where all do you work again? (despite the fact that he KNOWS already!)
ME: I work at Target in Edwardsville in the mornings, and Good Shepherd Lutheran School down the street in the afternoons. I don't have much time for lunch, so I stop in here on my way.
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: Alright. Well, I work here. I can get lunch and work, so... that solves two problems.
ME: (non-verbal response similar to trying to laugh and choking on my own saliva)
(Someone calls him away so I take to trying to text message Jessica and secretly take his picture, which is a failure)
So then I have to come up with a plan so that this awkwardness won't happen again. These are the two ideas I've come up with.
1. When I'm at Hardee's, I'm always writing in my notebooks. So anyway, I found this notebook I haven't really used (it's a sparkly Lion King notebook!) and wrote a bunch of fake things it that pertain to me and then put my contact information in the front in case it gets lost, and then of course I'm going to "forget" it at my table at Hardee's.
2. Write a love letter and anonymously leave it in the comment card box.
Anyway, this is all going to go down tomorrow, whichever I choose. So expect hilarious stories of failure from that.
Now stop what you're doing and go immediately download "Ballgame" by Kevin Devine.
Oh, andfuckinandsuckinandfuckinandsuckin!!!!!!!!!!
MY MOM: (in the midst of a story) So it was around Christmas and your dad had taken a job on a barge...
WTF?!?!?!?!? How do things like that even happen??
My weekend was marginally uneventful. I watched "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" with my grandma, made my birthday/Christmas list, and then Jessica called from Chicago to urgently suggest I watch this, which I have to say I am estatic I did.
So I think I mentioned in my former blog that the number one thing I love about my jobs is that I have a set schedule. This is partially because it's an rewarding present for my OCD tendencies, and also because I get to be a regular at several restaurants. Now Taco Bell, I'm not tooooo excited about, I mean it is Taco Bell, but all I get there is a free soda. But Hardee's? Oh, man. Hardee's has made me a happy man. I get a free soda, 10% off, and two awesome afternoon employees know my order by heart (shout out to Terri and Justin). I don't even have to talk anymore! As retribution, I know the cost by heart and always come prepared with $1.06.
The problem arises that I now have a crush there, which is NOT good news, in case you were wondering, because the only thing having a crush does for me is tax my nerves and put my thinking on overdrive. Also, my dating record as of late is as mentioned Attention-Whorey, and after screaming at and belittling my last restaurant crush on the phone outside of Buffalo Wild Wings for a good two hours, I'm not much in a hurry to get back to that kind of suckiness.
But at the same time as much as I hate it, the crush intrigues me. And I feel like I have a pretty good shot and it's not just all in my head. The facts are these:
- My crush is the cook at Hardee's, not the cashier person (whatever they call it - POS, front lines, you get the drift). "Well, if he's in the back, how did you ever meet," I bet you're wondering. Good question! When I come in, I usually talk briefly with Terri, the girl who IS the cashier person. She knows my order by heart (and today gave me a second sandwich free!), and then yells it back to Justin, the cook, who soon also learns it by heart. But somedays Terri doesn't work and someone else who is not Justin is cashier person. BUT, whenever I come in, Justin makes it a point to come out and both ring me out at the register AND return and make my food, completely disregarding the other employee.
- So this happens a couple times recently, and then one time I show up and I've forgotten to take off my Target nametag and Terri starts a conversation with me about my second job, which I had forgot to tell her I got (she notes she was getting a little worried about my wearing red everyday but didn't want to say anything). The next day, Terri is not at work and I am not wearing my nametag, and Justin comes out and begins a conversation with me about my jobs, despite the fact he was obviously listening the day before because he is not very good at faking not looking at me.
- He looks at me a lot. And it's annoying, because I was trying to take a secret picture of him with my phone to send to Jessica, and yes I realize that is creepy, that's not the point, but it was impossible. I also had no service, and walked around Hardee's holding my phone up like a retard.
Anyway, it's getting bad because I lose all wit and ability to talk when I don't plan out my crushing before hand. Here is an overview of the week and my failures.
On Tuesday, he got my order wrong. Which after doing it for four months, ringing me out that day, and knowing it by heart was extremely suspicious. His manager was present and I didn't want to get him in trouble seeing as I wasn't positive this was a ploy or not, so I wiped off the mayo and lettuce and went about my day.
On Wednesday, he repeatedly came out into the dining area near where I sit to do menial tasks that didn't need to be done, like organize the straws, or wipe off the dry soda machine. But I was unable to think of anything to say to him, and apparently he couldn't think of anything either, but we cool guy head nodded at each other a couple of times.
On Thursday it got worse, because he actually had something to say. He took over for the guy at the register and rang up my order without asking. I then handed him the $1.06 with similar confidence and then this conversation occurred:
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: (which is his nickname as decided by Jessica) $1.06? Pretty confident I'm going to give you your discount. It's actually going to be thirty dollars today.
ME: (nervous laughing, holds money out again)
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: This is going on your tab. Now at Hardee's, we make your order fresh, so it's going to take about forty or so minutes to cook. That's okay, right?
ME: Yeah, sure. No big deal. I don't need to get to my job.
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: Target?
ME: Good Shepherd.
(I escape quickly as he nods. Soon, I get my food, but instead of returning to the kitchen, he sticks around at the front)
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: So where all do you work again? (despite the fact that he KNOWS already!)
ME: I work at Target in Edwardsville in the mornings, and Good Shepherd Lutheran School down the street in the afternoons. I don't have much time for lunch, so I stop in here on my way.
DISCOUNT JUSTIN: Alright. Well, I work here. I can get lunch and work, so... that solves two problems.
ME: (non-verbal response similar to trying to laugh and choking on my own saliva)
(Someone calls him away so I take to trying to text message Jessica and secretly take his picture, which is a failure)
So then I have to come up with a plan so that this awkwardness won't happen again. These are the two ideas I've come up with.
1. When I'm at Hardee's, I'm always writing in my notebooks. So anyway, I found this notebook I haven't really used (it's a sparkly Lion King notebook!) and wrote a bunch of fake things it that pertain to me and then put my contact information in the front in case it gets lost, and then of course I'm going to "forget" it at my table at Hardee's.
2. Write a love letter and anonymously leave it in the comment card box.
Anyway, this is all going to go down tomorrow, whichever I choose. So expect hilarious stories of failure from that.
Now stop what you're doing and go immediately download "Ballgame" by Kevin Devine.
Oh, andfuckinandsuckinandfuckinandsuckin!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Very Important Bizznazz
Friends, I need your assistance. I have to take a history class (sigh) and being indecisive like I am I can't decide which one. I was leaning toward Russian history because a) I am obsessed with Russian and all things Russian (ex: vodka, my awesome Russian hat that everyone but me thinks is ugly) and b) it is a "survey" class, which translates to "nothing specific". However, Adam has been counseling me to take Roman history, which has the possibility to be either bloody and badass or extremely boring. Hmmm. I value your input, blog readers (all 4-5 of you) so leave me a comment.
Parting thought: this pink sucks. Why is there no hot pink?!
Parting thought: this pink sucks. Why is there no hot pink?!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Hey Larry, if you like insurance so much, why don't you marry it?
QUOTE OF THE DAY
MY MOTHER: So I was excited because I was going to have a lot of time to read, so I went to the library and I got this novel about N'Sync.
ME: Excuse me? Did you just say N'Sync?
MY MOTHER: Yes, it's a novel about them. Aren't they a band you like?
ME: No, Mom. They're not a band I like. And are you sure this is a novel? This isn't a back issue of Teen Beat from the '90s?
MY MOTHER: Yes! It's a novel that N'Sync wrote about their lives! Why are you making fun of me?! It could be good! How would you even know?! Did you read the N'Sync novel?!
So my trip to the doctor did not go as well as I was hoping. My first clue should've been that I was seeing someone who only went by Larry, no title or anything. Anyway, it turns out that I was on my dad's insurance policy, and "are you aware that your dad hasn't been paying it for over two years?!" Yeah, that may or may not be because he's dead, lady. Anyway, Larry refused to see me. So then, seeing as I hadn't planned to be at the doctor's for five minutes, I had one hour before my bus came. So I got stuck in the rain. Which was just what I needed being horrendously sick for six days.
Out of depression, I stumbled into the nearby KFC to get some comfort food, where I was appalled to find that they don't have macaroni and cheese anymore. The bitch working there made a huge deal about my asking and dramatically tried to remember the last time they had macaroni and cheese, which she estimated to be around the time her son graduated from high school in 1994. I was like, "listen here, whore, I am almost positive that I went here with my grandma in 2000 and got macaroni and if I could prove it, I would punch you in your face." Except I didn't actually say that. I just ate my popcorn chicken in silent rage. As Caitlin noted, she also ate KFC that same night. She had the chicken strips.
Then my mom got all mad at Larry and so she bought me like five different kinds of medicines and vitamins and made me take them all at once, which I'm not sure how great of an idea that was. She's also on this kick where she's overly offended by the cursing, because she's worried I can't censor myself at Good Shepherd. So she flips the fuck out when I say "damn," which of course just makes me do it even more.
I got my first racist customer at Target. He said "shit" a lot and told me a long story about how he likes to hide and jump out at black kids during Halloween and how sometimes they try to fight him afterwards. It was lovely.
I'm not sure how many people I told the great news to, but here it is just in case. For months before I got hired on at Target, my mom was obsessed with me getting a job at the St. Louis Bread Co, where I did not want to work because a.) it was St. Louis Bread Co, and b.) my frenemy Daniel Jones worked there and I wasn't sure about being in such close proximity to him with him being my superior, because that would be really annoying. Anyway, I got hired at Target. So what happens next? Oh yeah, Daniel gets hired at Target last week. UGH!!!!!!! But the looks on our faces when we first saw each other were priceless. Our conversation went something like this:
DANIEL: I didn't know you worked here.
ME: Yeah. This is going to be interesting.
DANIEL: I may have to shoot myself in the face now.
ME: Not if I shoot you first.
Then I punched him in the spine. Anyway, his orientation was yesterday and so I went to my manager who was running it and told him to ostracise Daniel and pick on him a lot. So by the end of the day, I was getting off work and I passed the orientation people getting done and this conversation occurs:
MANAGER: Hey, it looks like you can torture him in person now!
DANIEL: I am going to get you back for this, Justin!!!
ME: (to my manager, unimpressed) He can never give it as good as he gets it.
Also, who says "I am going to get you back for this!"? That is straight supervillain right there.
Anyway, Jessica is ready for bed, so I am going to head out. I have to rendezvous with Jake's iPhone at the party downstairs. I hear it came dressed as a sinister gorilla. Excitement.
MY MOTHER: So I was excited because I was going to have a lot of time to read, so I went to the library and I got this novel about N'Sync.
ME: Excuse me? Did you just say N'Sync?
MY MOTHER: Yes, it's a novel about them. Aren't they a band you like?
ME: No, Mom. They're not a band I like. And are you sure this is a novel? This isn't a back issue of Teen Beat from the '90s?
MY MOTHER: Yes! It's a novel that N'Sync wrote about their lives! Why are you making fun of me?! It could be good! How would you even know?! Did you read the N'Sync novel?!
So my trip to the doctor did not go as well as I was hoping. My first clue should've been that I was seeing someone who only went by Larry, no title or anything. Anyway, it turns out that I was on my dad's insurance policy, and "are you aware that your dad hasn't been paying it for over two years?!" Yeah, that may or may not be because he's dead, lady. Anyway, Larry refused to see me. So then, seeing as I hadn't planned to be at the doctor's for five minutes, I had one hour before my bus came. So I got stuck in the rain. Which was just what I needed being horrendously sick for six days.
Out of depression, I stumbled into the nearby KFC to get some comfort food, where I was appalled to find that they don't have macaroni and cheese anymore. The bitch working there made a huge deal about my asking and dramatically tried to remember the last time they had macaroni and cheese, which she estimated to be around the time her son graduated from high school in 1994. I was like, "listen here, whore, I am almost positive that I went here with my grandma in 2000 and got macaroni and if I could prove it, I would punch you in your face." Except I didn't actually say that. I just ate my popcorn chicken in silent rage. As Caitlin noted, she also ate KFC that same night. She had the chicken strips.
Then my mom got all mad at Larry and so she bought me like five different kinds of medicines and vitamins and made me take them all at once, which I'm not sure how great of an idea that was. She's also on this kick where she's overly offended by the cursing, because she's worried I can't censor myself at Good Shepherd. So she flips the fuck out when I say "damn," which of course just makes me do it even more.
I got my first racist customer at Target. He said "shit" a lot and told me a long story about how he likes to hide and jump out at black kids during Halloween and how sometimes they try to fight him afterwards. It was lovely.
I'm not sure how many people I told the great news to, but here it is just in case. For months before I got hired on at Target, my mom was obsessed with me getting a job at the St. Louis Bread Co, where I did not want to work because a.) it was St. Louis Bread Co, and b.) my frenemy Daniel Jones worked there and I wasn't sure about being in such close proximity to him with him being my superior, because that would be really annoying. Anyway, I got hired at Target. So what happens next? Oh yeah, Daniel gets hired at Target last week. UGH!!!!!!! But the looks on our faces when we first saw each other were priceless. Our conversation went something like this:
DANIEL: I didn't know you worked here.
ME: Yeah. This is going to be interesting.
DANIEL: I may have to shoot myself in the face now.
ME: Not if I shoot you first.
Then I punched him in the spine. Anyway, his orientation was yesterday and so I went to my manager who was running it and told him to ostracise Daniel and pick on him a lot. So by the end of the day, I was getting off work and I passed the orientation people getting done and this conversation occurs:
MANAGER: Hey, it looks like you can torture him in person now!
DANIEL: I am going to get you back for this, Justin!!!
ME: (to my manager, unimpressed) He can never give it as good as he gets it.
Also, who says "I am going to get you back for this!"? That is straight supervillain right there.
Anyway, Jessica is ready for bed, so I am going to head out. I have to rendezvous with Jake's iPhone at the party downstairs. I hear it came dressed as a sinister gorilla. Excitement.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Not this bus, bitch!
So apparently Justin and I BOTH had KFC for dinner tonight! That is simply amazing to me. I was hoping that we had the same thing, but alas that was not to be. I had to get my car jumped today and I think I have the best dead battery story I have ever heard. I had a water bottle on my seat that fell down when I closed the door. Said water bottle became trapped betwixt the door and the seat controls and ended up pushing the button to lay the seat back for a solid day and a half. This could only happen to me.
That's my exciting story of the day, I will leave the rest to my sick friend Justino.
That's my exciting story of the day, I will leave the rest to my sick friend Justino.
A Blog to Destroy All Other Blogs, If It Was In A Deathmatch Type Situation For Whatever Reasons
Seeing as our goal of owning a mansion named Zeppelinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn is still years away, and seeing as Jude Law is still not our friend and the Cheese Bottle suffered an untimely death (RIP), Caitlin and I felt that it would be comforting and well-suited to name our blog after our future home. I have to say that I am very upset that Xanga has self-destructed. I leave it with a lot of fond memories.
Here are some things on my mind today:
I am still sick.
And I am super pissed-off about it. I have been sick for six days. It's getting ridiculous. I do have a doctor's appointment today with someone called only "Larry." So we'll see how that goes. Anyway, here is my most interesting sick story, which happened yesterday.
I was supposed to work at Target at 9, which I was not feeling since I was, as previously mentioned, sick. Anyway, I had made it through several days prior so I thought I'd man-up and at least try. Anyway, I'm about to leave when my nose starts bleeding uncontrollably all over. It gets all over my work clothes so I have to change in addition to cleaning off every other surface around me at the time. So of course I miss the bus and I now have to walk. I'm about halfway there when I finally have a breakdown and start throwing up on the bike trail in front of this elderly woman who's jogging by and she starts freaking out and trying to comfort me and keeps touching me and trying to give me a backrub, which of course just sends me further into a psychotic fit that is me attempting to deal with stress. By the time I get to Target (because I didn't give up with throwing up in nature, no), I'm literally shaking, I'm mean and indignant, my hair resembles Peter Petrelli on crack, and I'm two seconds from crying. So they send me home. It's awesome.
Ryan Gosling
So if you are my friend on Facebook, which you probably are if you are reading this, you may remember a post I made a couple months back about the terrifying invention called Real Dolls. If you didn't, go find it immediately and watch the documentary. Anyway, now it seems that Ryan Gosling is going to be in a movie called "Lars and the Real Girl" where he is in love with a Real Doll. I am horrified. I was really hoping that the only people who had these things were the four people in the documentary. Now I see there is enough of a fanbase for a theatrical movie. Jesus Christ. These are the end times!!!!!!!!!!!!
Attention Whores
I do not like attention whores and this is why: they are time wasters. And I like my time! Generally, a conversation with an attention whore will go something like this:
ATTENTION WHORE: Hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile. I've missed you. Where have you been?
YOU: I'm not sure. I thought I was right here. Well, we should do something.
ATTENTION WHORE: Definitely!
YOU: How about Thursday?
ATTENTION WHORE: Sure, give me a call.
[the call will not be answered, and then one week later]
ATTENTION WHORE: Hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile. I was just sitting here thinking about you. Where have you been?
Maybe I missed something and I am the only person in the world with the ability to dial a fucking phone or make plans. At this point, I would not even be surprised. The thing is I can't escape it and it is because I am too nice. I know, shocking. I am just built to believe whatever bullshit line is handed to me and look for the best in everyone. Some people just want to be wanted though. Lola Ray has a song called "Beautiful Boy" (download it!) and it goes: I don't love you, so come love me. These people are desperate for it. When you're actually trying to call or converse, they have no interest, but oh damn, if you leave them alone for too long! The exciting part is when you figure it out, then you can start taking pleasure in driving them crazy. If you're lucky, like me, you might even get an emo text message out of it that says: "Do you hate me?" I imagine it reading like when Paula Abdul says "I'm tiiiiiiiiiired." "Do you haaaaaaate me? -sad face/solitary tear-" Why yes, I do actually. Funny you bring that up.
Anyway, I am an attention whore magnet like whoa. I am not happy.
Moon Shoes
Watch this YouTube video - DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! If you enjoy kids in yelling in pain (which who doesn't), you will enjoy this as much as I did. And no, I will not tell you how I came across this. Nice try.
Soulja Boy
I have learned that dance. Ask me to do it! Maybe I will film it and put in on YouTube.
Going on a Date
Today. At 3:30. Even though I'm gross and sick. With a possible attention whore. It's being debated. I got a Buffy pick-up line used on me though, and there's no defense for that.
Beauty and the Geek
Is owning. Even though Jen and William are still around. That's pissing me off. Let's hope they kill each other in Mexico like the preview suggests! Also, topscale dolphins!!!!!
Until next time,
See you later, calculator.
PS:
I <3 Dennis the most.
Here are some things on my mind today:
I am still sick.
And I am super pissed-off about it. I have been sick for six days. It's getting ridiculous. I do have a doctor's appointment today with someone called only "Larry." So we'll see how that goes. Anyway, here is my most interesting sick story, which happened yesterday.
I was supposed to work at Target at 9, which I was not feeling since I was, as previously mentioned, sick. Anyway, I had made it through several days prior so I thought I'd man-up and at least try. Anyway, I'm about to leave when my nose starts bleeding uncontrollably all over. It gets all over my work clothes so I have to change in addition to cleaning off every other surface around me at the time. So of course I miss the bus and I now have to walk. I'm about halfway there when I finally have a breakdown and start throwing up on the bike trail in front of this elderly woman who's jogging by and she starts freaking out and trying to comfort me and keeps touching me and trying to give me a backrub, which of course just sends me further into a psychotic fit that is me attempting to deal with stress. By the time I get to Target (because I didn't give up with throwing up in nature, no), I'm literally shaking, I'm mean and indignant, my hair resembles Peter Petrelli on crack, and I'm two seconds from crying. So they send me home. It's awesome.
Ryan Gosling
So if you are my friend on Facebook, which you probably are if you are reading this, you may remember a post I made a couple months back about the terrifying invention called Real Dolls. If you didn't, go find it immediately and watch the documentary. Anyway, now it seems that Ryan Gosling is going to be in a movie called "Lars and the Real Girl" where he is in love with a Real Doll. I am horrified. I was really hoping that the only people who had these things were the four people in the documentary. Now I see there is enough of a fanbase for a theatrical movie. Jesus Christ. These are the end times!!!!!!!!!!!!
Attention Whores
I do not like attention whores and this is why: they are time wasters. And I like my time! Generally, a conversation with an attention whore will go something like this:
ATTENTION WHORE: Hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile. I've missed you. Where have you been?
YOU: I'm not sure. I thought I was right here. Well, we should do something.
ATTENTION WHORE: Definitely!
YOU: How about Thursday?
ATTENTION WHORE: Sure, give me a call.
[the call will not be answered, and then one week later]
ATTENTION WHORE: Hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile. I was just sitting here thinking about you. Where have you been?
Maybe I missed something and I am the only person in the world with the ability to dial a fucking phone or make plans. At this point, I would not even be surprised. The thing is I can't escape it and it is because I am too nice. I know, shocking. I am just built to believe whatever bullshit line is handed to me and look for the best in everyone. Some people just want to be wanted though. Lola Ray has a song called "Beautiful Boy" (download it!) and it goes: I don't love you, so come love me. These people are desperate for it. When you're actually trying to call or converse, they have no interest, but oh damn, if you leave them alone for too long! The exciting part is when you figure it out, then you can start taking pleasure in driving them crazy. If you're lucky, like me, you might even get an emo text message out of it that says: "Do you hate me?" I imagine it reading like when Paula Abdul says "I'm tiiiiiiiiiired." "Do you haaaaaaate me? -sad face/solitary tear-" Why yes, I do actually. Funny you bring that up.
Anyway, I am an attention whore magnet like whoa. I am not happy.
Moon Shoes
Watch this YouTube video - DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! If you enjoy kids in yelling in pain (which who doesn't), you will enjoy this as much as I did. And no, I will not tell you how I came across this. Nice try.
Soulja Boy
I have learned that dance. Ask me to do it! Maybe I will film it and put in on YouTube.
Going on a Date
Today. At 3:30. Even though I'm gross and sick. With a possible attention whore. It's being debated. I got a Buffy pick-up line used on me though, and there's no defense for that.
Beauty and the Geek
Is owning. Even though Jen and William are still around. That's pissing me off. Let's hope they kill each other in Mexico like the preview suggests! Also, topscale dolphins!!!!!
Until next time,
See you later, calculator.
PS:
I <3 Dennis the most.
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